Dealing with an Indecisive Girl!

What does she REALLY mean when she says “I’m not sure…”, “I think…”, “Maybe…” etc.?

You have just come up with a brilliant date idea for this girl that you’re seeing. You decide to type up a romantic email invite detailing the “when”, “where”, “what” and “how”. Your eyes are affixed to the computer screen, your right hand constantly moves from the stubble on your chin to the subtle wrinkles on your forehead. It seems as though your heart just stopped for minute because you dread that you’ll screw this up. Once typed, you ever so slowly drift the mouse pointer over to the “Send” button, you hesitate slightly but then you say to yourself, “How could anyone refuse?”

An eternity passes, you check your email for the 30th time and still no reply, you can’t sleep but FINALLY she replies back and says…

“Oh! Hey! Sorry but I don’t check my email that regularly. That’s a great idea. I’m not sure. I think I have something on that night. Maybe some other time?”

So how you do deal with an indecisive girl?

I think all of us have come across this situation multiple times. “I’m not sure”, “I think”, “maybe” – What do these even mean? Does she even know that you cancelled a boy’s night out just for her? Let me tell you something, when I see any inkling of indecision on the girl’s part, I literally get the hell out of there because even if she does decide to say “yes”, there is no greater pain than sitting at a fine restaurant with NOTHING going into my stomach because she can’t decide upon getting the garlic bread versus the garlic bread, and “no”, that wasn’t a typo! Personally, I love a girl who knows what she wants.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately depending on how you see it, some girls really don’t know what they want because they are simply just like that! Or maybe they do know what they want and the use of a “maybe” is just telling you that she’s not interested.

Now if I take you back to my “glorious” adolescent days where the only “smoking hotty” I could get was my mum’s best friend’s brother’s daughter, if I got a “maybe”, I would say straight away that she wasn’t interested. However, it was probably more an ego thing than anything else i.e. if I asked you once, I wasn’t going to ask you twice so see you later! Fast forward to now, if some girl said to me that she was “unsure”, I would not make the assumption that she was not interested. You’ve got to understand that there are actually genuine reasons as why she is saying what she is saying.

The genuine reasons include that she really is busy, she is just playing hard to get, she is teasing you, she needs time to think, you’re not doing enough to make that “unsure” into a “sure” or you’re a far cry from that creative guy she wants because the best you’ve come up with is a Happy Meal at McDonalds. On the flip side, maybe she’s just an idiot and doesn’t know the sexy man nugget right under her nose. Obviously, it’s on you to work this out in the greater context of things.

If your head is buzzing and you still can’t work it out, don’t take it as a setback, stay composed, give her some time and ask her again at a later time. If she gives you another one of those “maybe” responses, I’m sure you know what that means so just move on. The last thing that I want you to do is to send her a text telling her she was never good enough for you. Sure, you can confront her about this but why bother wasting your time with someone who can’t distinguish between a “yes” and a “no”. Just remember, no one and I mean NO ONE, is ever too busy! If she (or your boss or your friend) wants to see you, she will ALWAYS make the time for you.

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4 thoughts on “Dealing with an Indecisive Girl!

  1. Hi GP,

    You are right. Sometimes a girl says “maybe” or “I’m not sure” becuase really, they are unsure. Most of the time, they have their agenda and lives too and they’re not sure whether they want to spend time with you. For instance, I used to call it the “fun – o- metre”. If I was double booked with friends and a new guy I’d think “will I have more fun with him or my other plans?” Most of the time, if a girl knows shes going to feel comfortable and have a good time with you, there wont be a maybe. It really is that simple.

    Good article. I look forward to reading more. 🙂

  2. A pleasure Ms. Daily Copy.

    “Fun-o-Metre”? Haha. That’s good enough to trademark.

    Yeah, writing is something that I never really pursued but I’m definitely enjoying this. I’ll be honest with you, I disliked writing when I was young – Probably because all the topics that were given to me during school were just plain boring!

  3. hmm well maybe. 🙂

    I’ve used these lines and it is because we’re unsure. Unsure of what we want, what we feel, what you want. Basically anything which can provoke a feeling of potential hurt can give you this response.

    I’ve used it with guys I wanted to let down easy (in the past, now I just say no thanks).

    I’ve used it with guys I did like because of all the ‘what if’s?’ kicked in (now I try and not put pressure on me or the guy, if it’s fun then great if it doesnt work out then bye-bye).

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