The Ultimate Pickup Line!

“Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do you want me to walk by you again?”

The sun is slowly drifting into the horizon and you set your gaze on your target from the dark corners of the bar. She’s wearing this beautiful backless ruby-red dress that flawlessly drapes down her slim body and then onto her 3-inch gold-coloured sequined heels. The jet-black wooden floorboards and the dimly lit chandelier fixed above her give her almost a halo look. You then remove yourself from the dark shadows and position yourself at the end of the bar. You’re ever so close because now she’s only a couple of seats away. You gaze slyly at her again and this time she responds by smacking her supple red lips whilst giving her long dark hair a gentle toss to the left. Her sharp amber-brown eyes now scan for any slight movements in your facial expression.

You sense that the gatekeeper has given you an opportunity to pass so you walk up to her and say…

“Hey, you’re super hot Babe! You’re like burning up in my atmosphere! May I buy you a drink?”

What do you think her response would be? defines a pickup line as a “one-liner used to attract the opposite sex that can sometimes be effective, but usually comes off as cheesy and overly stupid”. David DeAngelo, a well known dating coach in the United States defines a pickup line as “a form of merging an arrogant cocky attitude with being funny”. He even goes to say that it is the most effective way of engaging someone’s attention (only if you don’t screw it up of course!). Irrespective of these definitions, I would be calling you a liar if you told me that you have never used a pickup line.

I’m sure pickup lines have even been used since the dawn of mankind. The only difference was that the Neanderthals used gifts of food as opposed to spoken language. All he had to do was go into the wilderness, find himself a plump-juicy deer, kill it and then take it back to the village for her. I’m sure quite a few of us would find this easier when compared to extreme trials and tribulations of the current dating scene.

When it comes to current dating scene, I’ll admit that there is one line that I love to use. I use this not because I think it will work but because I think it’s just an extremely smooth opener that is sure to get a cheeky smile out of her. This line is “Excuse me. I think you owe me a drink.” [She says, “Really? Why?”] “Because when I saw you from across the room I dropped mine. It was a gin and tonic, and I’m [insert name]”. Now the beauty of pickup lines is that no matter what you say, if you deliver it with confidence and a reassuring smile then it might just actually work. In other words, believe it will work and you might be successful.

When it comes to really being successful, I love to sincerely compliment the girl on a subtle detail that adds an extra 20 minutes to the time she needed to get ready because this is what separates the gentleman from the little stuttering boys. Accompanying this is then a line that poses her a challenge. For example, “That’s a gorgeous pendant around your neck but I was wondering if there is a personality to match.” Is this the ultimate pickup line? Nah, not really because it’s even simpler than that!

The ultimate pickup line is the line that exudes simplicity – It is the crème de la crème of ALL pickup lines. To me, nothing beats a simple “Hey, how are you doing?” When you think about it, it’s not really a pickup line at all because it’s just 5 words and a question mark. Forget about cheesy pickup lines! Forget about making an ass out of yourself! Genuinely ask her how she is and from her response, ask her another question. In terms of what to ask is an entirely different topic altogether but I’m sure you get me. Great conversationalists know how to ask questions and they say hardly anything at all because they know people love talking about themselves.

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4 thoughts on “The Ultimate Pickup Line!

  1. chuckles. If ‘Hi’ is a pick-up line then use it because anything else produces (usually) howls of laughter usually because we’re laughing AT you or because we can’t believe you’ve said something so corny.

  2. The intro was great. Are you a writer? As far as pick up lines go, aiming for something simple, yet not overused is always the better choice.

  3. Hey, you’re too kind. No, I’m not writer but it’s something I may pursue later down the track. I use to be a finance man before but numbers never really allowed me to be creative.

    Haha yeah. Somtimes they simple lines do work from time to time but nothing beats a simple, “Hey, how are you doing?”.

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