Creating Value for Her!

How a simple business principle can be applied to dating and relationships.

You’ve been seeing this girl for about a year now and now it’s coming to your one year anniversary – You have picked out the perfect gift! She’s an amazing find and you pinch yourself every day because you can’t believe how lucky you are. Everytime you see her, she never fails to disappoint. The smile on her face vividly reminds you of the first time you laid your eyes on a G.I. Joe figurine, the light freckles on her rosy cheeks never seemed so perfect amidst all the calamity, her long-curly black hair drapes down to her shoulders like fine silk and staring into her black almond-shaped eyes just takes you to a brand new world. You look at the Prada handbag you got for her – You’re not into details but it literally cost three weeks of your monthly pay. The big day finally arrives and you place the handbag on her lap. She looks at it but she gives you a smile that seems as though two hooks are pulling down the sides of her mouth. She then hands it back to you and says…

“We need to talk. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

Creating value is a simple business principle that was described extensively by Bob Burg and John David Mann in their book titled “The Go-Giver”. According to the authors, you can sell a lot more if you understand “The Law of Value” i.e. “Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment”. They also put on the table that a genuinely sound business principle can be applied to all aspects of life. Now I ask myself, is this actually correct? Where my answer to this question is “Yes”, you can definitely apply this principle to dating and relationships.

How? Let me run this pass you.

Before we relate to this back to dating and relationships, I’m sure you have a favourite restaurant that you go to regularly or a hairdresser that you always visit. Now let me ask you, “Why do you always go to the same restaurant?” I’m pretty sure your answers have nothing to do with the food – The food is probably far from spectacular. Your answers are probably that the maître d’ always remembers your name, the owner always come down to say “Hi”, the waiter always remembers never to look down upon you so he gets on his knees to take your order etc. I’m sure you now understand that it is the little things that create value and hence makes you feel good as a customer.

Maya Angelou, an American poet, said “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

When it comes to dating and relationships, you now know that a Prada bag can only go so far in terms of making her feel good. Don’t get me wrong, if my girl got me a Loui Vuitton wallet, I’d be over the moon because these things don’t come cheap! What I’m trying to say is that in the long-run, you’re going to do a much better job creating value for her by concentrating on the little things. Creating value doesn’t mean you give away the bank! It just means doing the little things like listening to her when she’s had a bad day at work or leaving a note in her handbag telling her how much you love her. If you’re a frugal type of guy then this is awesome because this doesn’t cost you anything!

The beauty of creating value is that it really doesn’t take much or cost much. When I look for a life-long partner, she doesn’t have to be someone who showers me with an endless supply of G.I. Joe figurines. I’m just looking for someone who stands by me through thick and thin and elevates me to be the best that I can be – I’m NOT looking for someone who constantly puts me down.

Now you’re telling me, “I already stand by my girl and go above and beyond for her but sometimes, she just doesn’t appreciate what I do!” Hey, you could be right! Relationships are a two-way street and this could be the turning point. My suggestion is to stop expecting something in return – You can’t control everything in life so why don’t you concentrate on what you can?

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4 thoughts on “Creating Value for Her!

  1. I was talking to a friend of mine and she told me that a guy used a technique from “The Game” on her. She wasn’t very impressed – It seemed “unnatural” in her mind.

    I’ve got to get a copy of that book. What are your thoughts on this book Mate?

  2. It’s a decent book. The author started out “investigating” but became totally caught up in the game. Your friend was obviously not approached by a practiced player. Although in general the ideas can seem shallow, there are some good ideas, too. He totally talks about “adding value.” And not just in a way to make yourself seem more attractive, but he encourages the guys to really add value. Some are a little silly, like learning to do magic tricks so you can get the woman’s attention – but others make total sense to me – like some guys he tells to work out, teaches them to dress better, gets them better hair cuts. Some he tells to improve their intellectual appeal.
    Yes, there were parts of the book that were, frankly, creepy, but there were some good points, too.

  3. Women these days have the financial freedom to satisfy our material wants. We don’t need guys to buy us designer handbags because these days we can buy whatever handbags, shoes, dresses, etc. we desire.

    What we really want is someone to be at our side when we’re had a tough day. We want someone who, through their actions, shows that they respect us and does not take us for granted.

    The last thing any women want to to get the “leftovers” of a guy’s day i.e. he only comes around after spending the whole night watching the World Cup and drinking with his buddies. To top it off, he feels as though he’s going out of his way to make you happy by turning up!

    I agree with you that guys need to add (intangible) value to women’s life. If they don’t, why would women want men in their lives? The reverse also holds true.

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