Is it really that difficult to say “Hi” to a stranger?
In mX, a free newspaper circulated amongst city workers in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane on their way home from work, there’s a section called “Here’s looking at you”. In this section, text messages that are sent to mX by commuters detailing their “visual tryst” with a stranger that they have seen on the train are published in the newspaper the following day.
“To the cute Asian girl studying at Central on platform 22, I think your name’s Tina? I’d like to be the tangent to your curves. Dinner?” – S
“To the brunette who said goodbye to her friend while she screamed your name, which I think was Emily, you kept smiling my way. Catch the same train with me again?” – M
“To the girl seated behind me on Tuesday on the 5.58 city train from Chatswood, coffee?” – P
Do you REALLY want to wait for “God knows” how many days before you see her again? Wouldn’t it be better if you seize the opportunity that’s literally sitting right in front of you by just saying “Hi”?
I’m sure you have seen an attractive piece of eye candy sitting opposite you in the train one time. You probably had a tough day at the office but for some unknown reason, looking at this stranger on your 30 minute ride back home completely puts your mind at ease. You probably think that she’s the most gorgeous girl that you have seen! You even daydream about having coffee with her and perhaps even holding her in your arms. Heaven forbid but it’s ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!
“Argh! F*ck! She just got off! I was going to say ‘Hi’”. (Yeah right!)
She may be pleasing to see but intellectually undemanding but what if you actually wanted to say “Hi”?
When it comes to a situation like this, what is it that really stops you from saying “Hi”? The most probable reason is fear. Fear takes many forms; there is definitely the fear of rejection, there is fear of not knowing what to say to the girl and there is even a fear of having people watching you when you make an approach in such an environment. Now using a question from “Who Moved My Cheese?” a book about change written by Spencer Johnson, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
Without hesitation, I’m sure you would probably say that you will say “Hi” and even more to that attractive eye candy sitting opposite you on the train. Let’s not confine this to approaching girls. Imagine the possibilities of not having fear when it comes to starting your own business, not having fear when it comes to bungee jumping in New Zealand or not having fear when it comes to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania for the first time.
Now what is fear? Dictionary.com defines fear as “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.” Using this definition, I don’t think saying “Hi” to someone results in any impending danger or evil. In terms of pain, definitely not physical so when you think about it, fear is really just all in your head. Hence, this is something that you can clearly overcome.
Anthony Robbins, an American self-help author and motivational speaker, says that overcoming fear is all about educating yourself. True, but this will take some time. He also said that you should take inspiration from those people who have done it. Definitely, but you still need to find these people.
So what’s the solution for overcoming fear so that you can always seize the opportunity?
Just ask yourself these 3 questions:
1) “What have I REALLY got to lose?” Nothing!
2) “What have I REALLY got to gain?” Everything!
3) “Will I ever come across this opportunity again?” Are you willing to risk it?
Easier said than done? For sure, but it’s REALLY not as hard as you think.
Still not convinced?
As Steve Jobs would put it, how about “You could leave this world the next day.”?