“Hey, I’m not picky. I just know what I want.”
What a guy wants!
16 years old: ANYTHING!
19 years old: SMOKING HOT!
22 years old: Nice body / Nice body / Nice body / Intelligent / Sense of humour / Have I said nice body?
25 years old: Nice body / Down-to-earth attitude / Great sense of humour / Considerate of my needs / Able to hold a conversation
28 years old: Stands by me no matter what
40 years old: Whatever I can get! / Someone half my age?
So what does a girl want?
16 years old: Tall / Cute / Smart / Funny / Caring / Sporty / Sensitive
19 years old: Tall / Cute / Smart / Funny / Caring / Sporty / Sensitive / I need more space!
22 years old: Tall / Cute / Smart / Funny / Caring / Sporty / Sensitive / Has “potential” / Down-to-earth attitude / Caring and considerate / Has a sense of direction / Smart and knowledgeable / Someone who can commit / How come I’m limited to so few lines?
25 years old: Feels she can trust him / Supportive (emotionally) / Respects her and doesn’t belittle her / Someone who doesn’t needs “mothering” / Whether he’ll make a good husband/father / Would be lying if I say looks doesn’t play a role / Doesn’t matter if he is not smart, so long as he is not dumb either / Dependable and when she is together with him she feels he’s the right guy
28 years old: Supportive (emotionally) / Responsible / dependable / caring / Respects her and doesn’t belittle her / Certain that he’ll make a good husband / father
40 years old: Whatever I can get! / I want a baby!
* I DIDN’T MAKE THIS UP!
As I get become more “developed” in the years, knowing what I want to achieve gives me a sense of purpose in life. From a career’s perspective there is that sense of clarity that makes decision making much easier. From a relationship’s perspective “Looks fade, dumb is forever” by Patti Stanger (founder and CEO of Millionaire’s Club International Inc.) finally makes a whole lot of sense. I’m not saying looks are not important but as responsibilities begin to mount, friendships begin to wane and choices become few and far between, finding someone who just stands by you is really all that you want.
When you’re young and carefree, you didn’t know what it is you want and frankly, you couldn’t care less. You could afford to “experiment” because you didn’t know any better – it was “easy” back then because you could literally do whatever you wanted to. More importantly, you weren’t thinking about finding that love of your life nor were you interested in settling down. As the years begin to creep up with you however, priorities obviously change and so does your views on people and relationships. That girl in the little black dress and her all too daring cleavage just doesn’t do it anymore (that’s not to say I won’t look – I am a guy after all so I hope you’ll admire my honesty :D)
So you now ask yourself, “What is it that I really want?”
I remember back in the days when my answer to the question “What is that I really want?” equated to completing the “triple-threat” (i.e. hitting the town on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights) for every single week of the university semester. What I wanted back then was simple – talk sh!t with my Mates, get drunk and chat up girls. Having a girlfriend back then was considered a “taboo” and if you did have one, for some reason, you would forget about your Mates and just see the girlfriend (I’m guilty of this one). Flash forward 5 years and in a recent get together with my close Mates, we now talk about looking for someone who we could settle down with. How things have changed (naturally of course)!
Now the only problem is how do we know who that person is?
The best answer to knowing who that person is is for you to meet new people. It’s as simple as that. As you begin to meet more and more people, you’ll come to a better understanding of what you’re looking for in a partner who you would like to settle down with. Each and every person that you meet will have their own unique story and more importantly, each person will have their special qualities that define who they are. When you meet all these people, you’ll pick up on personalities that you like and personalities that you dislike. Ultimately, this puts you in a position where you can be a good test of character. Hence, by being exposed to all these different qualities that you encounter, you are then able to come to a better understanding of what you want. For a lot of us, finding out what you want will take time, experience and even heartache. The bright side of all this is that you will come out wiser.
To extend this simple principle of knowing what you want outside of dating, being wiser also means that you now have a better understanding of what you want in a friend, a business partner, a client or even a prospective employer. When you know what you want, life objectives now appear clearer and hence more defined. That idea floating in your head now seems more tangible that you think – all because you know what you want. As you can see, this well founded dating principle of knowing what you want can literally apply anywhere in life.
With the above stated, I’m sure you can now see the importance of it. So when you go out on that next date and you start to contemplate whether or not this person is right for you, just ask yourself, does this person have the qualities that match up with what I want? Now when I say qualities, completely ignore looks and other physical attributes.
So what do I want?
Someone who stands by me – that is all.
So… what do YOU want?