iDate premium T140 v7 Beta

Concentrate on what is most important.

Diary Entry
6th September 2010
Finding “The One”!

I jumped on eHarmony a couple of weeks ago. You know what I’m talking about – the dating website with those groovy commercials that always showed happily married couples where they “pre-screen your matches based on 29 dimensions of deep meaningful capability”. That and the fact that “Love begins here” was too good to refuse.

So after filling in the 75 page love compatibility questionnaire that took me a good 10 or so hours to complete, I come across SeductiveSirenSally69; 5 foot 9, black hair, athletic build, non-smoker, PHD qualified, atheist, right-wing extremist, ½ Spanish – ½ Chinese, earns > $900,000, loves Chinese food and with a headline that caused me to pitch a tent.

After exchanging a couple of “kisses” we decided to meet up for a coffee. Now to make sure that I was on my A-Game, I decided to bring my MacBook Pro so I could check for places to go after coffee, my iPod in case she wanted to sing along to some tunes, my iPhone 4 to check the latest movie times and my iPad to showcase to her my latest logo designs.

Come to think of it I was pretty prepared for date night until

5 minutes after we greeted each other, I decided to take out my new Blackberry smart-phone to check my Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon and Delicious accounts because I ran out of things to say. She then proceeded to make some excuse that she had to go home because she was “feeling tired”!

What an ass!




You don’t need some professor to tell you in a 25,000 word research paper that the dating scene, in addition to dating etiquette, has completed changed with the plethora of technology that has consumed the lives of everyone on this planet. Even an ancient tribe living in the remote depths of the Amazon jungle has probably seen a wannabe Indiana Jones doing barrel rolls and back flips trying to take pictures of them on a Nikon D5000 Kit – AF-S G 18-55 VR and then see him transfer the photos on a Toshiba Satellite L505D-S5992 with a AMD Turion™ II Dual-Core Mobile Processor M500. I’m not against technology because we are creatures of convenience and technology definitely satisfies this primal need in more ways than one. In other words, our lives are dictated by the route that offers the least form of resistance and when it comes to the dating scene, why put yourself in a situation when 10 “Hellos” to 10 burning-hot women equates to 10 “Nays” when you can screen, pick, dissect and choose in the comfort of your own home where you are “The” Game Master.

With technology you can be the Game Master in everything you can possibly dream of. Grocery shopping online? Check. Paying the bills online? Check. Informing the world via Twitter about your autobiography which is exactly 140 characters in length? Check. Breaking up with your imaginary girlfriend via Facebook? Check. Finding an imaginary one in 5 minutes flat? Check. Last but not least, a personalised butt-scratching service all-year round? Check. In this day and age, you can literally sit on your comfy behind whilst staring at your computer screen all day long without the need to talk to anyone because everything can be done with a click of button. Now don’t get me wrong, this is an astonishing world that we are living in but we seem to be forgetting something.

Getting back to Richard’s diary entry, Richard has forgotten the one invaluable skill that plays an integral part in how we integrate and ultimately, how we co-exist with one another and that is, he doesn’t even know how to even communicate with his date! So I pose you this question, have our social skills taken a back seat with the advent of technology?

Definitely! But at the same time, the fundamental problem here is that a lot of people don’t even know how to communicate properly when they are on a date let alone the intervention of technology. What is ironic is that when we meet people for dating/relationships/sex/love, we seem to revert back to a Neanderthal form of communication and simple language skills are thrown out the window. Combine this with technology that creates an impenetrable bubble around the user and we create a situation where our communication skills become near obsolete. Now it is this inability to communicate that effectively makes the date absolutely pointless – this is a fact. At the end of the day, nothing in this technologically driven world will ever replace that one-on-one interaction. EVER!

You may or may not agree with me but it’s also arguable that this technologically driven world has complicated dating and at the same time made us too lethargic. Let me be clear, I’m not against dating websites because I genuinely believe they do a great job is matching people up with similar qualities but what ever happened to the traditional way of meeting someone without the 75 page questionnaire?

I want you think about this. You could spend countless hours and even days browsing profiles on sites such as RSVP, Match or eHarmony. You could spend another hour paying money to send “kisses”, “winks” and “hugs”. If you’re lucky, she’ll respond within the day but there’s no guarantee when or if she will respond because your profile wasn’t “attractive” enough. When she finally does respond, you now have to open your wallet again and pay the dating site to be able to talk to her via an online messaging system or via a controlled video feed. After a week or so of back and forth chats, you now finally get to see her face-to-face for a date.

What’s interesting is that when you finally sit down together for this date, she’s look completely different to the photo she sent you. Add to that, she’s only 155cm tall as opposed to the 170cm she put on her profile. To put the icing on the cake, she’s actually a divorcee with 2 kids as opposed to a university student with 2 cats. But putting that all aside, you now don’t even know what to say – you can’t even mumble your way through let alone carry on a conversation! Don’t fuss – it’s not entirely your fault because she too doesn’t even know what to say.

You should be fussing because the whole process of going online, signing up to a dating website, filling-out a massive personality questionnaire, viewing multiple profiles after paying a fee, filtering potential partners, paying another fee to chat and then finally seeing her in-person but then realising that the both of you are totally clueless as what to say, probably took a couple of weeks. Fair enough – a dating website is a very effective way to meet new people but weren’t you supposed to meet up with SeductiveSirenSally69 NOT BoringBeastlyBetty13? Yes I understand, we’re running “busier lives” but as you can see from the above example, you’re just back at square one!

Now let’s compare the above with meeting people offline – how about that girl you see every day on the train platform when you go to work? What about that girl who gives a wink from across the room?

Here are some questions that I now want you to think about. Instead of relying on technology to find your Princess (or Knight in Shining Armour), wouldn’t it be more advantageous to concentrate on improving your communication skills so that you can talk to that girl on the train platform? Now wouldn’t that $35 on your monthly dating website subscription be better spent on something else? Just remember, if you make an investment on improving your communication skills, it is something that will last you a lifetime.

I’m just going to leave you with this departing thought:

When you remove the veil of technology that comforts so many online daters…

you are left with that one-on-one interaction.

When you remove the planning of a speed dating event…

you are left with that one-on-one interaction.

When you remove the actions of a friend who introduces you to one of his/her friends…

you are left with that one-on-one interaction.

Now go concentrate on what is most important!

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13 thoughts on “iDate premium T140 v7 Beta

  1. Wow, your blog is really great! I’m going to have to read some of your other posts when I have some free time. Can’t believe the eHarmony questionnaire was so long! I guess compatibility is more complicated than I thought 😛

  2. Thanks misstaing – you’re too kind 🙂

    Nah, it’s not 75 pages. I’m just jerking around to prove a point. Haha

    In terms of “pre-screening your matches based on 29 dimensions of deep meaningful capability” – a direct quote from an eHarmony commercial.

    Not 5, not 11, not 19 but 29 dimensions! Haha.

  3. Completely agree with this post. I think that technology has taken away our ability to communicate and express ourselves. It’s not only limited to internet dating but it’s also offline, where a guy won’t call you but he’ll text. I think face time is taken for granted and we don’t spend enough time trying to get to know each other and develop a connection.

    I think if relationships are to ever survive then we need to take a step back from technology and focus on building the human connection again.

  4. Definitely enjoyed reading this entry. I try to make sure and put technology on hold when i’m out with anyone, especially a date.

  5. WAIT! Are you saying sitting across from each other texting messages ISN’T romantic?

    I think part of the appeal of dating via technology is that there’s a barrier that prevents you from really seeing the person behind the curtain. So your imagination goes wild, and you immediately convince yourself that your online match could be your real-life soulmate. In the way you just can’t with the girl on the subway platform, cute as she may be. Why? Because there she is, in all her human glory. And even worse? There you are…exposed in yours.

  6. Haha! Excellent post. That journal entry is priceless. I went on a date this summer with a girl, and we had a great time. However, I left my computer logged into facebook at home. After dropping her off, I returned to my place to find the girl’s sister had said, “Get off facebook and pay attention to my wonderful sister!” Priceless.

  7. @ jessyclaire: I agree – texting can be very romantic but what I’m trying to say is that at the end of the day when you get rid of the mobile phone, the computer, the dating website and every other piece of technology that you have in your life, it is the one-on-one / face-to-face interaction that matters the most. In other words, technology can only get you so far.

    My apologies but what do you mean by you can’t be with the girl on the subway platform? Since the both of you are exposed, there’s no mystery anymore? What’s stopping either of them saying “Hi”? You wouldn’t need the dating website anymore.

    @Devin: Glad you enjoyed it Mate. Don’t tell me how I came up with SeductiveSirenSally69 and KingRichard. Haha. “Get off facebook and pay attention to my wonderful sister!” Absolutely priceless indeed!

  8. @GP I failed to successfully convey the mock shock I had intended. I quite honestly can’t think of anything LESS romantic than dedicating that special one-on-one time to your phone instead of focusing on the person sitting across from you.

    I think technology is fun and convenient — but a terrible thing to depend on. I am a firm believer in face-to-face conversations and the thrill/fear of approaching the girl on the platform. But it’s the mystery that drives the dating websites, and the safety it (falsely) promises, and the imagination (of perfect soulmates) it inspires.

    And I wasn’t suggesting it’s a good thing! My apologies!

  9. No need for the apologies jessyclaire.

    Great point regarding dating websites. Technology is convenient, there’s no doubt about it but you can’t rely on it. A blogger made a comment that dating websites don’t really want you to find a partner because it’s the single people that pay for subscriptions and hence generate the revenues for these businesses. It is common sense but you’ve got to hand it to these businesses though. But hey, all businesses have an ulterior motive and so do we on an individual level depending on what we do.

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