Is it friends with benefits or friends ‘WITH’ benefits?

Is there ever something called "free sex"?Why Natalie Portman is so good at faking it.
By Jennifer A. Vox

The motion picture, which was recently released as part of the whole Valentine’s Day theme, tells a story about a male and female whose friendship is purely based on a “physical connection”. Yes, they are having fun for as long as they can – lots of passionate-rough-and-tumble sex, instant rushes, full-on intensity, and ridiculously crazy surprises. Sex with no strings attached is hell lots of FUN!

However, things change once one party decides that they want more than just the wild romps in bed. Luckily for the couple, the movie ends with a happy solution. Ahhh… Hollywood movies are such a cliché! I’m sure you know the answer.

Regrettably, not all ‘FWB’ situations end with a happy ending – especially in this day and age. Only a few make it to exclusive relationships, the rest just go pear-shaped. I’m a firm believer that the ‘FWB’ situation only works for guys. I mean, what benefit does it bring for girls? I mean really. Women are not designed to handle emotions as good as men, particularly from the whole lovey-dovey-bonding point of view. Experts believe that the more often a girl is sleeping with a guy who gives her pleasure, the more she will get attached to her sex partner(s).

Sometimes, girls agree to sleep with a guy with no strings attached – merely hoping that there’s an opportunity to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Guys can smell this “primal need” a mile away and in turn, would merely use the girl to his advantage. Cardinal Rule #1: DO NOT… Continue reading

Dating Tip – How to Remember Everything About Her

As soon as you finish talking, write down EVERYTHING you know about her on your phone. This could come as a draft text message or as a recorded message. Just write it down somewhere!

“Why write it down?” I hear you say. Because when you call/text her, you won’t sound like an ass because you’ve actually got something to say. For example, she may have mentioned an activity she enjoys or she may have talked about her weekend plans. Remember both and that’ll be a massive tick in her books.

Now an extension of this tip will be very handy for when you’re speed dating. Breaks and speed dating don’t go hand-in-hand, so instead, think of a nickname that best describes her. For example, I would call her ‘Ms. Indecisive’ if she spent the whole speed date deciding whether or not to sit down.

GP Experience – Girl on the Train (Again!)

To my followers, you know that meeting women on CityRail trains is my forte and if you’re a first time subscriber, you can click here to find out why. Meeting women is just FUN and just like Valentine’s Day, it’s all about being creative. Meeting Renee* on the 10.33pm train back home sure put a smile on my face because I got her number without saying a single word.

Here’s the experience – Renee* was sitting on a two-seater whilst I was sitting close to her on one of those three-seaters. Sensing the very exhausted look on her face, I took out my notepad, wrote “Hi, my name is Jeff. Long day at work?” and then I handed it to her. Why did I write my greeting on a notepad? Because she had her headphones on.

So did it work? Well, she wrote back “Hey, I’m Renee*. I had a difficult client today. F*ck my life! How about yourself?” The rest they say is history. Now that’s GP!

Dating Tip – Spotting Opportunity

I’ll definitely do a whole Valentine’s Day piece in the February GP Newsletter but the “Big Day” is fast approaching – 25 days as a matter of fact. So let me ask you this question – what do you want your Valentine’s Day to be like?

Now if you’re still trawling through those online dating websites and the only potential you’ve got is a divorcee with 4 kids who may or may not need to take one of her kids to a school performance on that day (not that there is anything wrong with that of course), let’s go through this week’s dating tip: Spotting Opportunity!

Good things occur to those that least expect it so if we take this mantra to meeting women, your “Hey, how are you doing?” is going to carry a lot more weight if you say it to a woman who least expects it. What do I mean by this? Just say “Hi” to that that girl you see every day at the bus stop or that girl who is standing right next to you at the bookstore. EVERY GIRL (I’m confident on this!) loves to tell the story of how they were swept of their feet by their Prince Charming. This is opposed to the boring-old-unromantic-story of the girl meeting her man at a bar where if it weren’t for the fact that her girlfriends went to the toilet, her guard would have been up and all he would have seen would be the back of her head.

So how do we spot such opportunities? Just like the above GP Experience. Ask yourself these questions: Is she bored? Are there any signs to show that she is bored? Would she mind being approached? What is she doing? Is she open to a conversation? What’s her body language like? Last but not least, do I have anything to lose?

I’ll answer the last question for you – NO!

GP Experience – The Girl at the Wedding

Although not directly on par with what John (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy (Vince Vaughn) did in the 2005 smash-hit “Wedding Crashers”, where the duo would crash weddings for the sole purpose of meeting, picking up and eventually bedding women frenzied by the mere thought of marriage, just remember that it was just a movie whereas my experience is something that is far from difficult to achieve.

For those who have been following in the footsteps of the GP, you know that being able to spot opportunity is the first and easiest step to meeting women. Whether you’re walking along a street in the heart of the CBD or you’re sitting down at a café having lunch, if you’re serious about meeting women (or people in general as a matter of fact), all you need to do is open your eyes. Meeting Stephanie* at my friend’s wedding was no different.

So let me tell you about this experience – I’m sure we’ve all been to weddings where we have absolutely no idea who the other people are on the table. Put simply, apart from the date that you may or may not have brought with you, YOU DON’T KNOW ANYONE because since you’re not really close to the wedding party, one of the bridesmaids puts you on the “miscellaneous” table. Now Stephanie* was on one of these tables.

How did I know? By… Continue reading

Dating Tip – The Benefits of Being a Tourist

For you single men out there, there’s NO excuse to NOT say “Hi” to that cute girl waiting to be taken to her table at the 8.00am hotel breakfast buffet line or approaching that Latino-looking girl sitting by herself at one of Hong Kong’s most lavish bars. You’re on holiday for crying out loud and if you’re too afraid that you’ll make an ass-clown of yourself, don’t fret because if it doesn’t go well, you “probably” won’t see her ever again – EVER!

You’ve got everything to gain e.g. having your own personal tour guide, and nothing really to lose if you just muster up the courage to approach people at least while you’re on holiday. Although you should be doing this regardless or you’ll end up cleaning your own underwear for the rest of your life, there is definitely a degree of “I can do whatever I want / No fear” sort of attitude when you’re on holiday so you might as well utilise it.

What’s interesting about meeting people overseas is that there is instant interest i.e. you’re interested in learning about the new city from a local’s point of view to see where the best places are and she’s interested (and perhaps even euphoric) that she is able to meet someone from a different country (just don’t get “Shanghaiied”* though). I’m sure you’ll agree with me that nothing breaks up a tedious and mundane day at work when a tourist asks you to accompany her for a drink at the local harbour bar (Hey, it could happen!).

* Shanghaiied – according to UrbanDictionary.com, an unwitting person (usually male) is lured into conversation with a partner who looks to be “too good to be true”. Following these introductions and possible promises of sensual intentions, the focus of conversation changes dramatically.

GP Experience – The Girl at Ritz Carlton

I’m sure a lot of you have submitted your annual leave, booked your tickets and packed your bags – ready to disembark on your much-deserved holiday. With that said, it is befitting that I share with you all this past GP Experience that occurred to me whilst I was on holiday in Singapore at the end of last year.

I do not need to remind you that opportunities to meet people are EVERYWHERE and this is no different to the waitress that I met working at the VERY GLITZY club level at Ritz Carlton Singapore.

So let me tell you about this experience – after coming over to my table to clear out what’s left of my once delectable breakfast, I used my favourite line of them all i.e. “Hey, how are doing?” to see if she was interested in having a conversation. Obviously in these situations, it would be rude for her to just ignore you because you are the hotel guest. Hence, it’s very difficult to gauge whether or not there is genuine interest. The afternoon comes around and since the majority of 5-star club levels offer its guests 3 meals a day, I decided to take a break from sightseeing and head up to the club level for lunch. Low and behold I saw her again and once again, I said “Hey, how are doing?” Luckily, the club level was quite quiet at this time so we able to have a much longer conversation. The conversation continued and she told me that she finished work at 3.00pm and that she didn’t have any plans for the rest of the day (DING DING DING – Jackpot!).

I’m sure you know what happens next but if not… Continue reading

Dating Tip – Learning to say “No, thank you – I’m not interested”

Getting attention from the opposite sex can be quite flattering at times but it becomes bit of problem when you don’t know how to say “No”.

I’m sure you’ve been in a situation where you are constantly being chased by a girl and although you wouldn’t be caught dead in her presence, you just don’t say “No” to her. You might just say you’re “busy” or “some other time” but what this actually does is give her a glimmering hope that you are somewhat interested. Now you then might complain to your mates that you’ve got this sick-twisted-demented woman who is hell-bent on making you her man but all along, it’s really you who has got yourself into this mess because you haven’t made your intentions clear.

Learning to say “No, thank you – I’m in not interested” means that you’re not wasting your time and above all, you’re not wasting her time. Honesty can go a long way.

GP Experience – The Girl in the Group

The dynamics are completely different when it comes to approaching a girl in a group. In addition to making a strong first impression on the girl that you are interested in, you also need to make her friends think that you are “God’s gift to women” because you’re going home alone if she has to decide between you and her friends.

Now such a situation occurred when I went out to a bar a couple of weeks back. As I made my way to the bar for a drink, there was a girl sitting with a group of 4 other girls. She caught my attention straight away because she wore this sleek backless red dress with a flower ornament placed in her hair. To a lot of people, this is a no go zone because how in the hell are you going to penetrate a wall of “glossy” women. To me, approaching a girl in a group provides a whole different level of excitement because although one of them has caught your eye, you still need to charm every single one of them so none of them feels left out.

Since I’m very simple guy, a simple… Continue reading

Dating Tip – Asking Tough Questions

If you really want to find out what your date is really like, ask her a question that puts her on the spot. In other words, ask a somewhat outrageous but straight forward question where her sub-conscious would yield an initial “Who does he think he is?” response.

Now her response doesn’t really matter here because you’re actually more interested in how she reacts. I love a woman who knows how to handle herself under pressure (who doesn’t!) so questions like “Are you a good kisser?” or “What can you bring to the table if you and I were to get married?” would really get her thinking and hence, put her on the spot.

The trick to making her think you’re “serious” here is to make sure that you keep a straight face at all times. You need to make it clear to her you are merely joking after she gives you her response or else she’ll think that you’re just plain weird!