As soon as you finish talking, write down EVERYTHING you know about her on your phone. This could come as a draft text message or as a recorded message. Just write it down somewhere!
“Why write it down?” I hear you say. Because when you call/text her, you won’t sound like an ass because you’ve actually got something to say. For example, she may have mentioned an activity she enjoys or she may have talked about her weekend plans. Remember both and that’ll be a massive tick in her books.
Now an extension of this tip will be very handy for when you’re speed dating. Breaks and speed dating don’t go hand-in-hand, so instead, think of a nickname that best describes her. For example, I would call her ‘Ms. Indecisive’ if she spent the whole speed date deciding whether or not to sit down.
I’ll definitely do a whole Valentine’s Day piece in the February GP Newsletter but the “Big Day” is fast approaching – 25 days as a matter of fact. So let me ask you this question – what do you want your Valentine’s Day to be like?
Now if you’re still trawling through those online dating websites and the only potential you’ve got is a divorcee with 4 kids who may or may not need to take one of her kids to a school performance on that day (not that there is anything wrong with that of course), let’s go through this week’s dating tip: Spotting Opportunity!
Good things occur to those that least expect it so if we take this mantra to meeting women, your “Hey, how are you doing?” is going to carry a lot more weight if you say it to a woman who least expects it. What do I mean by this? Just say “Hi” to that that girl you see every day at the bus stop or that girl who is standing right next to you at the bookstore. EVERY GIRL (I’m confident on this!) loves to tell the story of how they were swept of their feet by their Prince Charming. This is opposed to the boring-old-unromantic-story of the girl meeting her man at a bar where if it weren’t for the fact that her girlfriends went to the toilet, her guard would have been up and all he would have seen would be the back of her head.
So how do we spot such opportunities? Just like the above GP Experience. Ask yourself these questions: Is she bored? Are there any signs to show that she is bored? Would she mind being approached? What is she doing? Is she open to a conversation? What’s her body language like? Last but not least, do I have anything to lose?
I’ll answer the last question for you – NO!
For you single men out there, there’s NO excuse to NOT say “Hi” to that cute girl waiting to be taken to her table at the 8.00am hotel breakfast buffet line or approaching that Latino-looking girl sitting by herself at one of Hong Kong’s most lavish bars. You’re on holiday for crying out loud and if you’re too afraid that you’ll make an ass-clown of yourself, don’t fret because if it doesn’t go well, you “probably” won’t see her ever again – EVER!
You’ve got everything to gain e.g. having your own personal tour guide, and nothing really to lose if you just muster up the courage to approach people at least while you’re on holiday. Although you should be doing this regardless or you’ll end up cleaning your own underwear for the rest of your life, there is definitely a degree of “I can do whatever I want / No fear” sort of attitude when you’re on holiday so you might as well utilise it.
What’s interesting about meeting people overseas is that there is instant interest i.e. you’re interested in learning about the new city from a local’s point of view to see where the best places are and she’s interested (and perhaps even euphoric) that she is able to meet someone from a different country (just don’t get “Shanghaiied”* though). I’m sure you’ll agree with me that nothing breaks up a tedious and mundane day at work when a tourist asks you to accompany her for a drink at the local harbour bar (Hey, it could happen!).
* Shanghaiied – according to UrbanDictionary.com, an unwitting person (usually male) is lured into conversation with a partner who looks to be “too good to be true”. Following these introductions and possible promises of sensual intentions, the focus of conversation changes dramatically.
Getting attention from the opposite sex can be quite flattering at times but it becomes bit of problem when you don’t know how to say “No”.
I’m sure you’ve been in a situation where you are constantly being chased by a girl and although you wouldn’t be caught dead in her presence, you just don’t say “No” to her. You might just say you’re “busy” or “some other time” but what this actually does is give her a glimmering hope that you are somewhat interested. Now you then might complain to your mates that you’ve got this sick-twisted-demented woman who is hell-bent on making you her man but all along, it’s really you who has got yourself into this mess because you haven’t made your intentions clear.
Learning to say “No, thank you – I’m in not interested” means that you’re not wasting your time and above all, you’re not wasting her time. Honesty can go a long way.
If you really want to find out what your date is really like, ask her a question that puts her on the spot. In other words, ask a somewhat outrageous but straight forward question where her sub-conscious would yield an initial “Who does he think he is?” response.
Now her response doesn’t really matter here because you’re actually more interested in how she reacts. I love a woman who knows how to handle herself under pressure (who doesn’t!) so questions like “Are you a good kisser?” or “What can you bring to the table if you and I were to get married?” would really get her thinking and hence, put her on the spot.
The trick to making her think you’re “serious” here is to make sure that you keep a straight face at all times. You need to make it clear to her you are merely joking after she gives you her response or else she’ll think that you’re just plain weird!
By all means, if she’s interested in getting you to go Latin dancing classes with her then why not give it a go. If she likes ballroom dancing instead and she wants you to then follow suit then why not.
However, if she wants you to be a more outgoing individual who can make 20 friends in a room with 20 people and you’re everything but the social butterfly, make it very clear to her that you’re not going to be someone that you’re not.
It’s a timeless dating tip so always be yourself because if you’re not, the cracks will inevitably appear – I can guarantee you that!
No matter how ridiculously busy she is with her life, she will ALWAYS make the time for you if she’s interested in you. If you’re getting an “I’m unsure”, “maybe” or “I don’t know” answer etc., she may genuinely be unsure so that’s ok but if it happens again, perhaps it’s time for you to re-evaluate the current situation. Just remember that there is no such thing as “being busy”! She’s got plenty of time – just not for you of course!